Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize