Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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