Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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