Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i already hear my dad disowning me
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
