are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
