Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just had sex on a roof
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
