Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
