I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
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