He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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