garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
