We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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