yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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