I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
