i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
