I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
