My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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