it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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