oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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