if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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