you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
