I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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