You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
