ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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