Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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