OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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