..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
