this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
