If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Thank you for not boning my boss.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize