I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
