What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
These tits shall not be calmed
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
