He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
