in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you win again, gameday.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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