i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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