my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize