I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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