I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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