belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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