Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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