Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
