Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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