Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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