So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
