did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
