My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
