I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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