I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
