Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
