don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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