It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
