is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
just come out here and I will go home with you...
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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