I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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