Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
