Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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