Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
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