My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize