woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Gay?
German.
Pity.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
