i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
