just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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