I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I will pee on everything he values.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
