well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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