Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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