chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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