wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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